There are the days where you just wanna lay down on your bed and do nothing and all of the memories start to reminiscing and you heart begin to tear apart. The days when you just wanna give up and stop everything that you been dong and ignore all the stupid things that been gong on.

Have you ever feel that way before? Well , i guess we all have that kind of phase or moments once awhile. It's perfectly fine if you that. I was there, at my lowest and weakest moment. it haunting me for awhile where i found myself crying in my bed middle of the night during my sleep. Never knew that phase is over and I'm way up blessed to have my loved ones around me. I couldn't trade anything else with it.

Stay strong, dearself.

Somedays life will be too hard on you, somedays life would be harder that you ever imagined and that's where you have a road infront of you. The path that you choose either to be stuck at it or move on and change. Not it ain't that easy, i know that but how long you want the dark side to haunt you? To scared you middle of the night or find yourself crying in the bathroom? These are the days where it will tear you down and you gonna be so exhausted about it.

My heart felt like it was ripped out and cut out of my chest and the easiest answer when people asked me, I would just say, I'm fine instead of explaining things and so on.


It is too painful that I shed my tears almost every night, even when Im with my loved ones. I was stupid and reckless. But all I'm saying here is I'm glad that phase is over now. It is over that I came out stronger and wiser with everything. I learned a lot of things, I choose the pain to be over and I stop that. Healing it by myself, for myself.


2016, definitely a year of growth and progress. Love yourself enough to be hard on yourself.

So Im sitting all alone in the corner of the library and start to wonder the topic that I've discussed with my lecturer during our class.  The topic was Language. Quite simple and easy huh? Some people start to take this topic as something light and don't even bother to search deeper on this.  I was one of them too. Well, before i have this debate with the class and my lecturer on this I did watch a Bollywood Film title PK. It was released in the year of 2014 and no I'm here not to discuss about the movie but I'm attracted to one of the moral values that this movie had portray.

1. I am thankful and grateful to have my mom despite we kinda have arguments sometimes coz she have a very stubborn daughter , but the reason why I  keep going in my studies and everything was because of her blessing. Always start and end with things that you do with your parents because they are the keys to your happiness.

2. I learned to appreciate people more. I couldn't express my gratitude much and so I always try my very best to be there, to understand and to walk through ups and downs with each of my friends and loved ones. Each of them have brought rain and sunshine to me. Thanks to each one of them.

3. I learned sometimes they are things aren't meant to last long, so when you have that moment. Hold on to it and make the moment the best out of it. At least, when you remember about it you know that you had a good time and not wasting time thinking "if only " kinda phrases.

4. Sadness have brought sorrow to me. I was at my lowest with full of negativity emotions where I cried in my sleep. They are days I can't stop crying and refuse to leave my room and Im really good in pretending that I'm fine with it. I learned that it's okay to feel that way but not too long. It took me a couple of weeks to bring out the positivity when the rain try to hit me.

5. Smile and confidence are always my best make up. I never knew how this little things can actually change my day and my whole perception towards things and other people. I smile a lot everyday, walking around the campus or sitting in the bus and looking at people throughout the window. It is nice when someone came up to me and says nice things when I wear my make up on.

6.  Be my own best friend. To have someone always be there with you are nice but what happens when it's not? That's when you learn things aren't always you want it to be. I always remind myself to be independent and do my own things alone and not depend on others.

7. Be nice to yourself. I choose not to hurt others and i just can't be mean to others just because I've been treated that way before. I simply choose not to be the negative and keep being nice, to myself, to people I love and the community. You choose your own happiness.

8. Read more and enjoy the beauty of the writing. When I read, I begin to start to be in whole new dimension. How I look at things changed and the aesthetic of that world just keep bringing joy to me.

9. I start to discover more about myself, in and out. Things I capable of and my strength and weaknesses. Emotion and experience change me in a way I never thought I would turn out to be who I am. I learned more to be more patience, always have the positive mind and vibes.

10. I learned to love more. Love myself. Love each one of my loved ones. Love is like faith, it can be increase or get lesser.  You choose which road you are heading too. Happiness is when I keep loving myself. It starts off within myself and then I can give out the love to my loved ones.

2015 coming to the end and I purposely write this on the very last day of 2015 which fall on Thursday, 31 December. I couldn't believe this year are coming to the end. How time flies, early of this year I was at my second semester and right now Im on my final semester.

They are many things that I have learned and gone through, i could say it was definitely crazy roller coaster ride with full of emotions, thoughts and feelings in everything that I involved myself with.

Hai peeps, 

So recently, I went out with a new friend that my another friend introduce to me. So let's called my new friend 'A'. I guess it is still early to mention about A for now.Okay, hold up people. I am not going to talk about my new friend , well I am just going to share a few things that I actually learned from A. 

I dind't expect that I will have a very interesting conversation with A but that's not the point, aite. Well, I am here to share with you on my perspective and A perspective.* I hope A is not reading this* * finger cross*.

I believe we all do have friends that always go against with our opinion or something and YES , you are right!! A is totally have different point of view with me on most subjects. I find this very interesting when we both talked about an issue. I have so many things in my mind that go against A EVERY SINGLE TIME!! * GOSH* 

"Do you ever just feel like killing the other person because of what ever he or she says are opposite than yours?" Well that's how I feel. But then, this kind of people excites me to go on with the conversation and A totally driving me nuts . We both have totally different kind of mind and I am pretty sure that we both grown up from different background and friends. As the conversation continues for an hour I guess, I learned something .

What is that??

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Well to make it short, whoever you are , wherever you come from and so on you should have respect in your identity. You got to have it in yourself,  practise it in your daily lives. As you grow older, your mind should be widen up and accept other people opinions or view. Not that I am saying you should accept 100% of their opinions but hey atleast give it a shot to listen and to digest in and choose things that can give you a good input. 

Give a thought aite, I ain't the master in this topic here but probably, just probably the least we can do is to give thought and maybe we can apply it in our live to be a better person.

Goodnight, peeps.